Over the course of five days, we talk about people who feel disadvantaged and ways to combat this feeling. For this material, we recorded a monologue by a thirty-year-old American woman who is struggling with discrimination based on excess weight.

Whitney Way Thore was an ordinary girl, a high school student and professional dancer. But at some point, Whitney was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome, one of the possible manifestations of which is severe obesity. She began to weigh more than a hundred kilograms. I had to give up dancing and change the stage to a fitness club. For several years, Whitney tried to return to her original weight, but her body did not give in - she lost twenty-five kilograms and gained forty back. At some point, the girl decided to forget about stereotypes and remember her love for dancing. Whitney has recorded several Fat Girl Dancing videos and started the No Body Shame Campaign blog. With her videos, Whitney forces us to rethink the stereotype that being fat means leading an unhealthy lifestyle.

About discrimination

In America we like to talk about how tolerant we are of all genders, races and sizes. But this is not true. Here, fat people live under constant pressure from society. This has always amazed me, because Americans are one of the fattest nations in the world. But in fact, everyone here is obsessed with appearance, with the desire to lose weight, and they treat fat people negatively, despite the fact that everyone in the family has at least one fat relative. When I began to gain weight sharply, the whole situation was comparable to some kind of social experiment. You know, one of those ones where they put the hero in a fat man costume and ask him to walk around the city and see how others react. The guys who asked me out just a couple of months ago walked by, didn’t look at me and generally pretended that I didn’t exist. It was wild, because we had just met recently.

In general people became less friendly and were often very rude. I remember that was the first time I thought that minorities felt this way. In the clubs, all the guys began to behave disgustingly: they came up and called me fat. Relationships with girls have also changed. They immediately began to demonstrate that I was not one of them. I immediately became different - a fat girl. Some new acquaintance always assumed that she knew everything about me in advance: “Oh, have you ever had a boyfriend?” They decided that since I was fat, it meant I was insecure and I had never had a relationship. This really pissed me off. And yes, despite the fact that deep down I was unsure of myself, I always had enough pride not to show it. One girl once asked me about my boyfriend at that time, to whom we were engaged: “As I understand it, you met when you were still thin?” - "No". To be honest, the young man was not handsome, but still it never occurred to anyone that a man would want to marry a fat woman.

I have traveled a lot in Asia and Europe. She lived in Korea for some time. There I faced a completely different type of discrimination. If in America all discrimination is hidden, sometimes you can’t even prove it, then in Korea everything was on the surface. I lived in Daegu for four years. And every day for all four years, passers-by on the street pointed at me and laughed. When I got into a taxi, the driver routinely asked me either about my weight, or about my favorite food, or simply grunted in greeting. Sometimes I felt like I was in a zoo: wherever I went, people stopped, stared, pushed their friends - hey, look quickly. It was as if they had never seen anyone fatter than me in their lives. But I got used to it quickly enough and sometimes I didn’t even notice.

I have two really unpleasant stories. One day I was going to work, and a young man of about thirty in a suit drove by. It would seem that we consider such decently dressed people to be well-mannered and educated people. So, a man in a suit, driving by, called me dirty and spat on me. I usually hold back. But that day something broke in me, and I ran after him like crazy, showering him with all the curses I knew. The second story happened in a bar. Some guy at the next table got into a verbal altercation with my Korean friends. As a result, the bar owner came up and asked him to leave the establishment. And I was so angry at this man that I gave him a furious look. He responded by calling me names in Korean. I knew that the reason for this was that I was a woman, a foreigner, and also fat. This doesn't give me any right to look him in the eye. Then I started going down the stairs, he came up from behind and started hitting me on the head. It’s good that my friends were nearby, who immediately tied him up and took him to the police.

When I got into the taxi, the driver usually asked me either about my weight, or about my favorite food, or simply grunted in greeting

But what was always really painful for me to bear was the reaction of the children. Sometimes, passing by children playing on the street, I could wave my hand and say hello to them, and in response they would run away screaming in different directions. Am I really so disgusting that children fear me like a monster? As for my students, there were no such problems with them. They quickly got used to me, and, it seems to me, I managed to change their consciousness a little. They came up and said: “Teacher, you are fat, but so beautiful. I know why boys like you, because you're smart and funny."

Then I lived in Ireland for several years and traveled around Europe. To be honest, I was very worried at first. I thought that Europeans in general were much thinner, and Americans were standard fat. And it was very offensive to be this stereotype - a fat American woman. But in fact, the attitude towards me was very relaxed. No one has ever said anything to me about my weight. People told me that I was beautiful, strong, but not fat. I think Ireland was where I felt most in tune with my body.

About the No Body Shame campaign
Campaign

It all started when I was working as a radio producer. We were launching our YouTube page and wanted to attract more subscribers. At that time I had a lot of dance videos and I decided to publish one of them. I called the video Fat Girl Dancing simply because such a name would most likely attract more attention. We posted my videos for a year. They were popular, but not very popular. And then in January 2014, my friend Todd and I recorded another video, and it bombed. I don't know how or why this happened, but within a couple of days there were over a million views on Facebook alone, and over 500,000 people shared the video. Then The Huffington Post wrote to me, and Good Morning America and the Today Show called me. I suddenly became the center of everyone's attention. All this time, separately from the video, I kept a blog about my life called No Body Shame Campaign. I thought that I could use examples from my life to help other people be confident and love their body.

About fat women

I'm an avid feminist. This word scares many people, but I believe that feminism is important. Not just in the US, but especially in other countries where attitudes towards women are much less progressive. First of all, I never allow anyone to say nasty things to me. And if this happens, I immediately fight back. If I don’t stand up for myself, then this person will never understand that this is not necessary. In general, I understand that people may not be changed. On the other hand, I think men behave badly towards women because we rarely point out their mistakes. You should not be shy and be able to stand up for yourself if a man called you fat or grabbed you by the butt in a public place.

Sometimes, passing by children playing on the street, I could wave at them and say hello, and they will answer ran away screaming in different directions

Now there are many campaigns in support of fat women. Their main idea is that large women can be beautiful and sexy. This includes fashion photography, modeling, and so on. But this is not about me at all, this is not my niche. It seems to me that if you focus on how beautiful you are, even if you are fat, it still suggests that you are sitting in some kind of box of stereotypes. For me, something else is important - not that we can be as beautiful as thin women, but that I can live a full life without any limiting stereotypes around. I would like to say to all these girls - maybe you are glad that you are fat and sexy at the same time, but you still continue to evaluate yourself solely by external signs. And this is not for me. Everything I do in life has nothing to do with my appearance. That's why I dance. I'm not afraid of people who will say that I'm not worthy of dancing just because I don't look good.

Criticism

My personal messages on social media are 99% positive. People write to me from all over the world and thank me for my blog and my videos. “I just watched your video, it changed my life.” I never thought that anyone would say this to me, especially every day, a thousand times a day. But if you read comments on YouTube or Facebook, you can find a lot of things. Someone writes nasty things - she's fat, she's disgusting, she should kill herself. And someone decides to be a little more savvy and reports - oh, well, at least she’s happy, despite the fact that she’s not healthy. Many people write that I am promoting the idea of ​​obesity. I think this is the funniest thing anyone could say to me. After all, I am a fat girl who dances and plays sports in all my videos. I primarily promote a healthy lifestyle, but not obesity.

Once I came to Los Angeles for the first time, went to a local popular fast food restaurant and took a photo with a burger. The reaction was mixed: “Are you kidding me? How can you eat this? Look at you!" In America, fast food advertising is very popular, where models sexually devour buns. I downloaded three of these photos and put mine next to them. What is the difference? Why do I look disgusting with a burger and promote obesity, but models eating a burger are sexy? This suggests this: people believe that you can assess a person’s health simply by his appearance. I know for sure that “fat” does not equate to “unhealthy”, just like “skinny” does not equate to “healthy”. I have many thin friends with various problems - high blood pressure, high cholesterol, inability to walk more than three kilometers. I now weigh fifty kilograms more than them, and do not experience the same problems. Of course, health concerns are understandable. But here the thing is different: people look at me and immediately decide that I have health problems, that I am on some kind of pills that are paid for from their tax revenues. If you get so mad when you see me at McDonald's, why don't you get mad when you see skinny people there? Why do you consider it your right to comment on this? All McDonald's customers lead an unhealthy lifestyle, but you're only angry at me. Why not then go to a thin person and ask: “Do you smoke? Are you protecting yourself? How often do you exercise?

Confidence

I often get asked this question: how did you become so confident? I hate this question because there is no definite answer to it. All my thirty years of life I have been faced with various problems: I gained weight up to one hundred kilograms, then lost it to seventy-five, gained it back to one hundred. I've been through a lot and I wish I had a simple answer. The only thing I can say is that you need to work on yourself.

We are taught that in order to achieve anything, we need self-confidence. Now, I don't believe in that. If this were so, few people would eventually dare to get off the couch and do something. After I lost twenty kilograms and then gained thirty-five back, I told myself: “Calm down, life doesn’t end there.” So I gradually realized that I absolutely do not care about my weight. And despite the fact that we have to deal with a huge amount of criticism, there is still more positivity. The main thing is to force yourself to leave your usual comfort zone and do something. And confidence will follow. After all, confidence is a product of your action.

Success and recognition came to Whitney when... she gained excess weight. Now the 170-kilogram dancer and TV presenter is successfully losing weight and successfully teaching others to do the same. What is Whitney's secret?

Reasons for rapid weight gain

Once upon a time, Whitney Thore was a thin and petite girl. But one day she began to rapidly gain weight, and after an examination, doctors diagnosed her with a hormonal imbalance. Since then, Whitney has tried a hundred diets, spent 10 years in therapy and exercised intensively, but the scales inexorably showed “plus”. The constant sidelong glances of passers-by and the heavy sighs of loved ones became simply unbearable, so Whitney worked abroad for a long time.
But one day Whitney said to herself “stop”, why torture yourself, because life is so good. Since then, the girl has not stopped enjoying life and, contrary to doctors’ predictions, is gradually losing weight.

Rejoice despite everything

This is exactly the motto that Whitney promotes among her fans. Loving yourself, enjoying every moment of life and doing everything with pleasure - these are the main postulates of the Torah.

Once a girl published a video of her dance online, and the next morning she woke up famous. Soon one of the US TV channels became interested in the fiery girl and in 2016 signed a contract with her to create the reality show “My Full Life”. In it, Whitney will struggle with her problem and teach the same to the same desperate “lumps.”

Eat, dance... lose weight

It's easier to part with extra pounds when you love yourself and your full body - that's what Whitney says. She enjoys traveling, hanging out with friends, loves to chat with her friend over a slice of pizza and a cup of cappuccino, meets cute guys and dances fiery dances for fun. Since the girl began to live with pleasure, the weight began to slowly melt away.

Whitney does not deny herself her favorite food, eats everything she wants, but at the same time leads an active lifestyle, and burns off extra pounds in the dance hall. “Burn more calories than you take in,” advises Whitney. The girl herself adheres to her own principles of comfortable weight loss: she enjoys dancing, attending parties and taking long walks. The girl advises her subscribers not to have complexes about their imperfect body, but to do whatever they want, then the excess weight will go away much faster.

Now Whitney dances a lot, shoots videos, creates her own mega-popular program, travels around the world, meets a new guy and provides support to overweight people. So why not follow her example.

Fame came to 170-pound Whitney Thore after publishing a series of dance videos on YouTube. Now the girl leads a social movement against discrimination against fat people and participates in the reality show “My Full Life.” In an interview with Hello magazine, Whitney said that she began to recover at the age of 18 due to illness. No matter how hard she tried, she could not lose weight.

“When I was 18 years old and started going to college, I suddenly gained a lot of weight, very quickly. I didn’t know why this happened, I was very embarrassed about myself and didn’t go to the doctor. My life changed dramatically, and in one year I gained about 45 kilograms. When you're fat, you start to feel like an outcast, and it was at that moment that I stopped working out and taking care of myself, I was severely depressed.


A few years later, in 2005, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I realized that this was the reason why I gained weight in the first place. By the time I realized this, I had already gained 90 kilograms,” she said.


As she gained weight, people began to treat her more harshly, Whitney said. They believed that the girl had become lazy and stopped taking care of herself. My personal life also didn’t go well for a long time, but now Whitney is happy in her relationship.


“I have a boyfriend, his name is Lenny. Our relationship is the first time where my weight doesn't matter. This is the first time I feel like I'm truly loved for who I am, for my whole personality, not just for my body, but for my mind as well,” she said.

Whitney noted that men have always liked it, but they were... shy about it!


“Everyone seems to think that men are not attracted to fat girls. But no matter what size I was, men were always interested in me. The biggest problem is that many men who like plus-size women tend to be embarrassed about it because it's kind of taboo. I come across men who think I'm attractive, who really like me, but who probably won't date me because they're afraid of what other people will think of them. And sometimes this is very annoying,” said the dancer.

You often hear that every girl dreams of a slim figure. What if we say that there are those people who love their big body and chubby cheeks? Meet the charming, sweet, cheerful and attention-grabbing Whitney, who weighs 180 kg, but is liked by people. If you don’t know her yet, then you should correct this, as this person will teach you to love life and yourself. In addition, there are rumors that the host of the program “My Full Life,” hosted by Whitney Thore, is pregnant.

Whitney Thore became famous for her weight. She was once slim, but when she gained weight, her life changed. But the girl has natural charm and a huge charge of positivity, which attracts people to her. “Dancing Fatty,” as Whitney is called, is a true inspiration for those who can’t love their looks and motivation for those who are afraid to start living life to the fullest.

Life before and after

Whitney is an ordinary American girl - "cheerful and plump." Let’s be honest, this is exactly how many people imagine American residents. And if you don’t know Whitney Thore, and therefore thought that there was nothing surprising in her completeness, then you are mistaken.

She did not always weigh more than 100 kg, but was a fairly slender girl. In her interviews, Whitney Thore said that at the age of 18, when she entered college, her weight began to increase sharply and from 58 kg. The scale needle moved to 120 kg.

The girl was not ready for such changes, and therefore she began to feel out of place, stopped taking care of herself and became depressed. She was later diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. It was this disease that caused such a large weight gain. By this time, the number of kilograms had only increased.

"Full Life" by Whitney Thore

“The Dancing Fat Girl” is now known to many. She gained popularity thanks to the fact that she made a video with dance lessons, which she posted on YouTube, and here she was noticed. The video, titled “A Fat Girl Dancing,” went viral, gaining 8 million views. This video is still on Whitney's channel.

Along the way, the girl kept a blog in which she wrote that overweight people should not be afraid of their weight and move on with their lives.

Whitney Thore later became a TLC star and the main face of the show My Big Fat Fabulous Life. The program talks about Thor's simple life, her problems, attempts to lose weight, dance classes and personal life.

The reality show is quite popular, with 4 seasons already released. Here the girl tried to reveal a different side of herself, because many knew her as a fat girl who loves to dance. She also has her own page on Instagram, where Thor shares her photos from her life. Now everyone knows the dancing fatty Whitney Thore.

Reactions of family and friends

Whitney is often asked how people who knew her before her weight gain treated her. Parents, according to Thor, often told their daughter to lose weight. They thought that skinny Whitney would immediately become happy and not have any problems. But in this way, Thor admits, mom and dad only put pressure on her. After all, she herself tried to lose weight, went on diets, but due to illness, weight loss is very slow.

Whitney often encountered the fact that people are not used to seeing a happy, overweight person and this causes negativity in them. People around them perceive fat people as lazy and neglected people. The TLC star also faced this problem. But she dances and plays sports!

But she was supported by her parents, who believed in their daughter and said that she could really influence society and change their idea of ​​fat people.

Therefore, Whitney, realizing that she would not change her weight, learned to love her body. She returned to her dancing classes and began going out to the beach, not paying attention to the sidelong glances.

Another achievement was the founding of the No Body Shame campaign. This movement helps overweight people fight the embarrassment and shame that prevent them from living a normal life.

Personal life

Another problem that overweight people face is the lack of privacy. After all, many often say that due to excess weight such a person will not find a soul mate. Whitney has a boyfriend. In addition, in one of the programs there was news that the TV presenter may be expecting a child.

However, it soon became clear that the rumor was false. Whitney's illness affected the test, which was positive, but after visiting the doctor, she was convinced that she was not expecting a child. So Thor has not given birth and does not plan to in the near future. She believes that at 33 years old she is not yet ready to become a mother.

The girl says that many men love fat people. She says that she attracts men, but there are those who cannot admit how much they really like plump women. Therefore, Whitney will never pay attention to a person who will be embarrassed to introduce her to his family and friends.

Motivation from BBW Whitney

The girl struggled with herself for 10 years and learned to love her body. Her life includes numerous diets and dance classes. She is losing her weight very slowly and gradually.

Thor says that extra pounds make it difficult to live a normal life. Ordinary things become more difficult to do. It's harder to travel, dance, communicate with people and look in the mirror.

Whitney was able to talk about obesity on her blog and on the radio where she worked. Now she serves as an inspiration for those who are embarrassed about their body. The Internet star even posts photos of herself in a swimsuit because she considers herself attractive.

Having found strength in herself, Whitney admits that she has never loved herself as much as she does now. Just look at her: cheerful and energetic. Would you dare call her ugly? Of course not. And this is the result of a lot of work by Whitney Thore.

Someone says that the girl is promoting excess weight. This is not true at all. Whitney tries to support people and help them cope with this problem, which many are afraid to talk about.

Whitney Thore is a true example of how to treat yourself and your body. Every time she proves that you need to love yourself and not pay attention to other people’s negative opinions. Start working on yourself and don’t spend your life sitting on the couch, live your life to the fullest, in every sense.

170-pound dancer Whitney Thore: “Men love fat women, but are afraid to say it”

170-pound dancer Whitney Thore became famous overnight when she published a series of dance videos on YouTube in 2014. Now the “dancing fatty” not only leads the social movement No Body Shame, which opposes discrimination against fat people, but has also been the main character of the reality show “My Big Fat Fabulous Life” on the TLC channel for a season in a row. Whitney spoke about how she manages to enjoy every day, despite stereotypes, in an exclusive interview with HELLO.RU.

Whitney, when did you start gaining weight?

When I was 18 and starting college, I suddenly gained a lot of weight and very quickly. I didn’t know why this happened, I was very embarrassed about myself and didn’t go to the doctor. My life changed dramatically, and in one year I gained 100 pounds (about 45 kilograms - Ed.). When you're fat, you start to feel like an outcast, and it was at that moment that I stopped working out and taking care of myself, I was severely depressed. A few years later, in 2005, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I realized that this was the reason why I gained weight in the first place. By the time I realized this, I had already gained 200 pounds (about 90 kilograms - Ed.).

Whitney Thore - stages of growing up

How have you tried to lose weight?

I've been trying to lose weight my whole life, even when I was skinny. It just so happens that women are on a diet almost all the time, and, in my opinion, this is bad. But after I gained a lot of weight, I once managed to lose significant weight. I lost 100 pounds in six months in 2011. And then I typed them, which also happens quite often. Unfortunately, I thought too much about the number on the scale and was just trying to lose weight. So I took a not very healthy approach. I ate little and worked out 15 hours a week. This is not very good for your health. Now I try to eat something rich in nutrients, mostly home-cooked. This is a kind of rule: do not eat in cafes too often and try to cook yourself. I'm not a very good cook, so cooking is always a challenge for me.

Has people’s attitude towards your new weight become a challenge?

When I gained weight, many people began to treat me as if I had become a different person. Of course, I was always Whitney, I was always an individual - with the same brain and the same heart, but when my body changed, people became very cruel to me. They thought I was either very lazy, very stupid, or a girl who had never had a boyfriend. And I myself began to believe their words, and I believed them for a long time. And how can you not believe it, when at school I was the prom queen, and just a year later I became fat... To sum it up, I want to say: it took me years to become more confident in myself, to understand that I am me, no matter what my body looks like. I am still smart, funny and happy, and the shape of my body does not affect these qualities of mine.

How did your loved ones react to the fact that you became a girl in the body?

My family and friends didn't talk about it, but now I feel like it was a topic that needed to be discussed. It's a pity that no one encouraged me to go to the doctor and face this problem face to face. It took almost ten years before I was able to talk openly about my weight. I definitely haven't lost any friends. All my friends loved me no matter if I was fat or thin. I was very lucky in this sense.

Does your non-standard form prevent you from building relationships with men?

I have a boyfriend, his name is Lenny. Our relationship is the first time where my weight doesn't matter. This is the first time I feel truly loved for who I am, for my overall personality, not just for my body, but for my mind as well. In the third season of the show, you will see how my relationship with Lenny will develop, we will have to overcome some problems... I think overweight women do have special difficulties in relationships, but these are not at all the difficulties that everyone thinks about.

It seems to everyone that men are not attracted to fat girls. But no matter what size I was, men were always interested in me. The biggest problem is that many men who like plus-size women tend to be embarrassed about it because it's kind of taboo. I come across men who think I'm attractive, who really like me, but who probably won't date me because they're afraid of what other people will think of them. And this is sometimes very annoying.

As for me personally, I would never date a man who is so weak in spirit that he is embarrassed to introduce me to his parents. But I want plus-size women to understand that there are plenty of men who will love them and who will find them attractive. I know this because I experience them myself every day.

Don't you think that many people have a hard time believing that obese people can be absolutely happy at their weight?

I think it's true - most people don't believe that you can be fat and happy at the same time. We are taught from childhood that thinness is equal to happiness. This is definitely what they think in the States. I have traveled, and it seems to me that this is a very common point of view. But I categorically disagree with this point of view and am convinced: it is important to find happiness within yourself, without making it dependent on how you look.

Whitney Thore and her boyfriend Lenny

Have you ever been accused of promoting obesity?

This happens often and looks pretty stupid. I once spoke to an audience of 700 people and asked them, “How many of you watched the program?” Everyone raised their hands. “Which of you wanted to gain weight to be like or like me.” And of course there was not a single hand raised. I don't think people look at me and think, "I want to be like her, I want to gain weight so I can be like her." And what I am absolutely sure of is that hating your body will never bring you more than loving it. There is nothing wrong with losing weight or living a healthy lifestyle. But my main idea, the main idea of ​​my No Body Shame campaign is to love yourself first and everything else will come. You know, when I wanted to lose weight, I hated myself. And it was for this reason that I didn’t like dancing and taking care of myself. And now I value myself, and everything else has become much easier.

How much time do you spend in dance class now? And what are your hobbies besides dancing?

I teach dance once a week - these are the Big Girl Dance Class lessons that you can see in the program. Besides dancing, I like to read, I like to write. I just wrote a book, and it was a lot of work. I went back to the gym, started doing yoga - it's difficult, but I love a challenge. I still ride my bike and still love to go out - talk to people, go to concerts. This inspires me.

Which people inspire you?

In everyday life, my source of inspiration is my dad and mom - they are my main heroes, so compassionate and absolutely amazing. In addition, I really love the singer Adele. She is an important example for all plus size women. A great singer, so talented and so confident. She does not cheat on herself simply because she is famous, and does not “buy” into all these star stereotypes. I truly respect plus size women who become famous and stay plus size. I think it's cool.

It’s a common thing even for world-class stars and famous actors that they don’t like to see themselves on screen. Do you watch episodes of your reality?

I watch my own show so I know what other people are seeing. But it’s difficult to watch... I perceive myself normally on screen, but it’s a little strange to watch finished episodes after editing. For season three, for example, we shot probably a thousand hours of footage, and there will only be nine hours in the show. I would say the third season was the hardest to watch because I have a real life and this TV show is just a small part of it. But, of course, I watch it and laugh.

What programs, besides your own, do you like to watch?

I'm quite strange in this sense - I rarely watch TV. I like detective stories, so I watch Investigation Discovery. And I also like the Animal Planet channel because I love animals.

Whitney, you became famous thanks to YouTube. Are you familiar with the work of other people who became famous thanks to random videos on the Internet? For example, the “dancing millionaire” Gianluca Vacchi is especially popular now.

I don’t know Gianluca, but I’ll find him on the Internet when we finish our conversation. What's cool about the Internet is that every day there is someone new, something new. I really enjoy going on YouTube and seeing talented dancers and even more so, talented athletes. We control the Internet ourselves, so we can find amazing people all over the world. The only thing you need to do is do a search. It is wonderful.

Watch the new season of My Complete Life on Thursdays at 10:00 pm on TLC.